Genetic testing

I thought I’d saunter into the survivorship clinic meeting with the genetic specialist MD and get my blood drawn after a quick consultation.  WRONG.  I brought the 5 page history form in all filled out, handed it in, was weighed and measured and … sat for too long waiting for the doc.  The staff were appropriately remorseful as they told me she’d be 15 minutes late.  About 45 minutes later she did come in. 

While I was waiting, I looked out to the pond with the fountain as the first rain in several days fell.  It was pretty much pouring, and the wind blew the spray from the fountain.  It splashed into the windblown pond in various patterns.  I love rainy days.  To restate the first sentence here, I really didn’t think much about the options that were about to be presented to me.  As I was enjoying the rain show, I let my mind wander into the darkness.  The purpose of genetic testing, in my opinion, was to see if there were any of the BRCA genes in my body that would determine the likelihood of a reoccurrence of cancer.  Just the idea of a reoccurrence and the subsequent treatment options, had me unimpressed.  I recalled the initial days of AC, the nausea, diarrhea, sadness, my hair loss, losing my ability to know what was going on in my body, fear of neuropathy, messed up nail beds, fatigue, burned skin…it all sort of flashed before me.  It was like I had both the feeling like it was yesterday and so long ago all at once.

Dr. Genetic Specialist came in and reviewed my family history.  The only notable cancer that I am aware of was my maternal uncle’s late in life prostate cancer, my paternal aunt’s colon cancer in her 70’s and my dad’s malanoma in his mid 50’s.  Unless the malanoma was a particular kind, none of these were of significant concern to her.  I don’t know what kind of malanoma it was, I DO know that my dad spent a lot of sunny days on roof tops and building houses without his shirt on, and never had a reoccurrence.  She asked if there was any chance that my biological grandparents could have been cousins or if I had Ashkenazi/Eastern European Jewish heritage, neither of which I answered in the affirmative.   I’m pretty sure about the Jewish heritage, and mostly sure that my grandparents were not cousins.  I suspect I could get into the geneology if I wanted to be sure as much as is possible.

These tests are done by one lab only.  They cost something like $3,500.  Insurance companies do not always cover the cost.  The social worker asked why I was considering this test.  Among my reasons was the fact that I have brothers, children, nieces and nephews and that I wanted to give them as much information about my/our genes that was available to us.  Another was to make choices about my body that could include prophylactic surgeries to remove the tissue that would be the most at risk (breast, ovaries and tubes).  I have a friend whose sister had ovarian cancer.  She had her OWN ovaries removed recently to avoid the occurrence of ovarian cancer herself.  Seems like a reasonable decision to me.  Social worker told me that I didn’t hear it from her, but I should NOT tell the insurance company that I wanted this test to help family members.  She asked if I would really consider having another mastectomy and removing my ovaries and tubes if it came back positive.

The catch here was that I did not meet any of the criteria that my insurance company (like most companies) laid out for eligibility.  The ONLY thing that remotely put me in the maybe catagory was that I was younger than age 50 when I was diagnosed.  That particular bullet said something like “under age 50 at diagnosis AND with two separate tumors”.  My tumor had ductile and lobular features, but was considered one tumor.

Enter conundrum flashback.  I was told that they could take my blood and send it on to the lab with my insurance and the lab could stop the process if/when they find out that it would not be covered.  No sweat off my back.  BUT Dr. Genetic Specialist would have to submit a very detailed family history to my insurance company, much much more information than they currently have.  It is allegedly illegal for the insurance companies to descriminate after obtaining so much info.  It is apparently NOT illegal for LIFE insurance companies to descriminate in this case.  And so, what did I want to do?

The thing that could have put me over the eligible edge would have been if there was one other case of breast cancer in my genetic history OR especially if there was ovarian cancer. 

At this point I have a DVD she gave me about genetic testing.  I plan to look it over.  B and I have discussed this and are leaning on the side of not pursuing at this point.  Dr. Genetic Specialist is going to talk with Dr. Oncologist.  She told me that she is NEVER surprised by a positive genetic test.  These individuals have significant ovarian/breast cancer in their families.  She is SOMETIMES surprised by negative tests.  She gave me a number, something like 7-10% of genetic testing comes back positive for BRCA 1 or BRCA 2.  She said that there will most likely eventually be more genes found to be related to cancer, but they just have not been cloned yet.  She said that based on my history she thought it would be fairly unlikely that I would test positive for the two genes that are currently identified as linked to breast/ovarian cancer.  She did offer a bit of advice.   She would recommend that breast screenings start for the next generation 10 years prior to the age I was when first diagnosed…age 37.  I can pass that on.

SO anyway.  There’s the long genetic testing story.  I’m going to watch the DVD, talk with others and sleep on it…maybe for many moons.  There is no rush.

Walk 4 Hope 2010

You’ll notice that there is a new TAB at the top near the comments tab: Walk4Hope 2010.   The walk is on October 16, Saturday.

 Like last year, we will update our team’s progress from time to time on that tab.  There is a link on that page both to the MaineGeneral walk site and a link to our team page.  It costs $10 to walk and you can make an additional donation if you want as well. (The fee is waived for survivors.)

 We’ve set an ambitious team goal of $5,000.  You can set your own fund raising goal if you want and it will go toward the team OR just join our team donation.  You can forward the team page to anyone you think might be interested in walking or making a donation. A and I are seriously considering designing a fun t-shirt for the walkers.  We’ll see how far that dream goes!

I’m excited to be walking without the influence of chemotherapy.  Actually, I’m just excited to be walking AND to be walking with many of you by my side, hand in hand, or in spirit, where you have been for this past year.

Thanks

In the moment

I really am not a very good blogger.  If I were following this blog, I probably would have given up checking for new entries by now.  I feel some sense of responsibility to whomever is still hanging in there with me and us, and appreciate that very much.  Like my favorite “there must be a pony in here some place” story, I would think checking in to see no new entries time and time again is sort of like that.

We had the good fortune of a generous set of friends who enabled us to take a vacation of our dreams back to where B and I used to live.  Plane tickets, a car waiting at the airport for us to use, a beautiful home stocked with food, a family with so much love to share and a boat that allowed us to frolick with marine wildlife and fish to our hearts’ content.  I want to put pics of our vacation in here to show the beauty of our favorite place and to show a family moving on from a year of cancer treatments.  Part of the delay has been that one camera cord is MISSING, so I cannot get the pics from there to here at this moment.  There is ONE photo card that can fit the card reader, so I’ve plucked some favorite morsals for today.  I promise that I will look diligently under clothes in the teenage bedrooms for the cord so I can put some other favorites up in future entries.

This entry today is about the moving on part of a family’s life with breast cancer.  We don’t have breast cancer any more, at least that is what we believe and what the latest info tells us.  We are moving on.  It’s about freedom and family time.  We were in Alaska for what felt like a month, but was really only just over a week.   We flew into Seattle, then into Juneau and then took an 8 seater plane into our first playground; Haines.

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There we visited a friend who is really into what I’d call Alaskan extreme sports.   Our friend S flies traction kites and takes them out at low tide, goes onto the ice, up mountains with skis, on the water with a wake board, and is able to take great leaps into the air 10 – 15 feet up it seems.

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When I had the chance to ride shotgun in S ‘s truck as we chased the low tide, he said “You know P, a lot of people think I’m an adrenalyn junkie.  But for me it is about being no where else but in the moment…you of all people know what I mean, I know that.”  This had me thinking a lot about my individual experience this last year and my need for space at times, my struggle not to get caught up in whatever could be upsetting or negatively engaging.  When it was my turn to fly the kites, I appreciated the fact that S gave instruction, held the bar when we needed him to, ran beside us, and then left us with our own intuition and the wind.

E-getting-directions-150x150E getting instruction from our pal S.

The picture below is of A flying the traction kite on her own at low tide.  It was an amazing experience for each of us to try out the trainer kite (11 square meters) and ultimately the 15, which you can see here is quite large.  The harness is just like the ones we wore rock climbing many moons ago.

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Time in Haines was short, but we were fully present and smooshed as much as we could into the moments there.  It helped to shrink the kids and tuck them into our pockets for ease of travel.

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We ferried back to Juneau and puddle jumped into Sitka for the bulk of our vacation.  Here we are out in the Pacific on a sunny day (a rarity in those parts).  This was before we threatened the fish population with our angling skills.

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Seeing B so free and peaceful was one of the greatest gifts.  He wanted to be nowhere else but on the water it seemed.

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We were delayed leaving by one day due to fog, no planes could land on the short runway.  We were either going to go to a real estate broker, or take care of a few dangling wishes on our to do list.  SO we went to the Raptor Center.  At one point we were all walking down a wooden pathway.  There were 7 of us.  A and B were arm in arm in the front, our friends A and M (mom and daughter) were next.  E and M (the two boys) took up the rear.  I was in the middle of these pairs and was very content with this set up.

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I had one thought that some may think is morbid:  we all just find a way to get by when we lose someone.   I was at once both very much in the moment of my own journey and seeing my family surrounded by beauty, friends and love.  I actually thought ‘If I were dead, they’d still be doing this.’  If at some point I’m not around and my family is, this is what will surround them.  That is comforting to me.

As for updates:  I am feeling well.  Radiation is still healing, believe it or not.  It flares some times, it itches sometimes.  I’m keeping it moisturized.   It seems my family is moving on as well.  I wear insta-breast to work like a good girl, most days.  I don’t wear it at all on weekends.  On especially hot days, it’s the first thing to come off when I get home.  I do feel good and frankly, less self conscious, now when I wear it in my professional life.  My chiropractor asked this week if I’d made any decisions about reconstruction, and I took a minute to answer.  When I told him my answer I felt so sure of myself and the direction I / we have chosen.  He said something about being very interested in our thought process and reasons for our choice.  And then he added “This is how you made it through this whole ordeal so steady and strong P.  You took your time, you respected your body, you accepted help, guidance and love. ”

I have to leave you with two more photos.  They speak for themselves.  They actually go side by side.

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Sunset from Harbor Mountain

We’re back!

Ok, ok, maybe a few people are awaiting pictures of our family enjoying our final frontier…you’ll just have to wait because I am a picture SPAZ and it will take concentration to get things in order and pick a few tastey morsals to post.  Suffice it to say that the trip was incredible.

For NOW, I’d like to know if any readers are in for another Walk 4 Hope.  It’s scheduled for Oct 16.  A and I were throwing out some team names, and she likes The ‘Save second base’ team.  We also thought about “Keep a breast” and “I (heart) boobies” which is a craze that our NY friend told us about…we now have a supply of wrist bands that say that in bold letters… I appreciate the humor that we share about this intense issue, really.  It makes it more approachable for people in my humble opinion.  We’re all affected by breast cancer or the threat of it.

Anyway, it’s likely that we will develop a team like last year and have a link for people who would like to walk with us or sponsor us…I’d just like to know if anyone out there is interested.  You can respond to this or email/call me.  I’d love to walk with you.